Wanting what I should not want
by Morgana-Alex
Summary: Minerva recounts how she came to the conclusion that her feelings for a certain student were not what they should be. HGMM Chapter 5 up
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer:** These wonderful women are owned by JKR I am just making them act out my fantasies, I promise to give them back in good order when I am done with them.

**A/N:** For those of you who haven't worked it out yet I write for two pairings AD/MM and HG/MM this story is for the latter.

Minerva recounts how she came to the conclusion that her feelings for a certain student were not what they should be and how she deals with the first tentative steps before a relationship can begin. Yes this story is about two women and love, if the idea of that disgusts you, you truly need help and you should not be reading my fic.

This story is dedicated to the one and only Bella whose birthday it is today, so Happy BirthdayBella I hope you have a wonderful day my darling.

For the rest of you enjoy and please review. ;-) **Morgana-Alex**

**Wanting what I should not want?**

**By Morgana-Alex**

My heart is racing and my mind can do little to calm the emotional storm that is raging around me.

How? Why? Are the only two words I seem to be capable of uttering at this moment in time.

They are of course the simplest forms of the questions I cannot voice in their entirety.

The whole questions being; how did I let myself fall in love with such an innocent creature? And why did I not exercise my legendary self-control and stay away from her?

Did I expect that being Minerva McGonagall made me immune to affairs of the heart? Most of my students would tell you that I do not have a heart of that if I do it is made of ice. I know now that I had spent to many years believing in the image I projected to keep my young charges at arms length.

Please let me clarify a few things I am not disputing the fact that I have been tempted once or twice in the past by pupils who knew exactly what they were trying to do and by others who didn't have a clue as to their ability to bewitch their seemingly incorruptible transfiguration professor.

Each and every one of those times I have taken a step back and reinstated the professor student distance. Each time I reminded myself that I did not need what they had to offer, that such lust could be sated with less complications than the ones presented by teenagers.

For Merlin's sake I have been a teacher for nearly 40 years I know how to distinguish between what is acceptable and what is not; I know that there are many reasons why the rules we live by are in place.

Yet none of that knowledge or hard learned self-control saved me this time, this time a student had gotten under my skin and there was not a thing I could do to stop myself falling under her spell.

I mean spell in the non-active magic way of course she has not used her power or skill with potions to capture my heart. Nevertheless she has bewitched me completely, I know it is madness to believe myself in love with her and yet that is exactly what I feel.

* * *

At first I noticed her simply for her intelligence and curiosity, then for her attachment to the troublesome twosome, then somewhere between her 6th and 7th year I noticed her as a person, someone who could challenge me in conversation and in my chosen field of expertise.

I can tell you the exact date I noticed her as a woman, the day I realised that I wanted more from her than the simple companionship of a student and friend.

She had helped me tidy my classroom after the last lesson of the day and as she had passed me a pile of books she had collected from each desk my hand brushed hers and neither of us moved. My eyes had been focused on the books and as I raised them to her face my heart raced I knew that if I looked into her eyes I would see one of two emotions reflected back at me either love or disgust, I dreaded both in equal measure. Her eyes reflected what must have been obvious in mine they reflected love. The part of me that was still capable of reasonable thought was telling me to move, leave the room and run away.

Though that part of me did not win my internal struggle; I took the books form my student's hands, placed them on the table beside me and raised my right hand to caress her face and she leaned into my caress.

As I moved closer, placed my fingers under her chin and brought her lips to meet mine in what would be the first of many kisses, I knew that any attempt to fight my heart would fail miserably.

The kiss was unlike anything I had ever experienced before; it made me feel light-headed, it was filled with more passion and more love than I knew existed.

I pulled back to regard my student, her face flushed and her lips curved into a smile.

I knew there would be no turning back we had crossed the line.

"Minerva." My name rolled off her tongue and her voice sent shivers down my spine.

"Hermoine." She moved to claim my lips once more. But a classroom was not a venue for such an assignation.

"Not here my darling. Besides we have some talking to do first." Her eyes suddenly downcast and once again I lifted her chin so I could look into the window of her soul.

"After dinner tonight come to my rooms." She removed my hand from her chin and kissed my palm before walking from the room saying;

"Until tonight my Minerva."

* * *

I did not eat dinner in the great hall with the rest of the castles occupants; my mind would not let me think of food.

I had gone directly to my rooms when I had left my classroom moments after Hermoine.

I took a shower, changed my robes, applied simply make-up and told myself that I was doing all this to keep busy, but I knew I was getting ready for a date with my soon to be lover. Even as my mind screamed what do you think you are doing she is a student? I continued to preen myself.

Sitting on my windowsill watching as dusk fell, waiting for that knock on my chamber door, the knock that would seal my fate.

It came at precisely 8 o'clock and caused my heart to leap in my chest. I stood, smoothed imaginary creases from my robes and opened the door.

* * *

Hermoine was a breathtaking sight, she had forgone her school uniform and now wore a dress that accentuated every curve, every feature of her exquisite body and it was as red as the lipstick she now wore.

If I had any doubts as to my actions tonight they flew out the window at the sight of her in that dress.

It was not as if my mind had any say in what I was about to do, I knew that wanting her was wrong, she may have been of age but she as still my student, yet I was not about to stop myself from taking her.

I could hear my heart beat - as clearly as I could hear a class of rowdy children – as I watched her enter my sitting room. The colour in my cheeks rose as she caught me watching her every movement. Though not from embarrassment but from the excitement I saw in her eyes.

"Minerva are you going to offer me a drink?" She laughed and smiled each word and for a moment left me wondering just who was the student in this room.

"Of course forgive my failing manners. What would you like?"

"Something that befits the evening Champagne perhaps." I could not believe that my student had asked for Champagne, I was determined that no alcohol would pass either of our lips tonight we needed to talk and we needed to be sober for that talk.

"I think not my dear maybe after we talk. How about some tea?" I asked in a voice that betrayed far more emotion than I thought wise.

"Tea would be lovely Minerva." I waved my wand and two steaming cups of tea appeared on the table in front of us.

If it was possible Hermoine moved closer to me when she had picked up her cup from the table.

"Now Minerva I believe you wanted to talk." It was a statement and one designed to catch me off guard. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss her and never let her go.

However one of us needed to say what needed to be said.

"Yes Hermoine we need to talk, relationships between professors and students are strictly forbidden. I could lose my job simply for entertaining the thought let alone what I did this afternoon and what I am doing now. The rules we live by here at Hogwarts are there for a reason, they are there to protect you from professors who would take advantage of your innocence." My student made to speak and I held a single finger to her lips to prevent her from interrupting me. I knew if she spoke even a single word now it would be my undoing.

"Please let me finish. I will not lie to you Hermoine, I will admit that my feelings for you are not the feelings a professor should have for her student, yet you have consumed my heart. But please know that I will not hurt you or pressure you to do anything you do not wish to do. You may leave my chambers anytime you chose and if my advances are unwelcome all you need to do is tell me and I will never speak of them to you again." I sat silent watching her face for her reaction, parts of me wishing for one answer and parts of me wishing for another; all confused as to how this young woman had become the subject of my dreams.

"Minerva I understand the conflict that must be raging within you, I understand what you are risking merely my inviting me here tonight. But I also understand that I would not have come here tonight if your attentions were unwelcome. I am far from being the naïve young woman most expect me to be, I know the desire that is raging within me begging to be sated is there because of you. If you decide I am not worth the risk to your job, to your reputation then all you need to do is tell me and I will leave never to speak of my heart to you again. But know My Minerva that you will always hold my heart whether you chose to welcome it or not." How could I continue to believe this wonderful woman was just my student and my friend? I realised be it a good or bad thing that I was in love with Hermoine Granger and there was not a thing I wanted to do to change that fact.

**The End?**

**A/N:** This fic is intended to be a one-shot. if you want me to write more please let me know and I will try my best to continue. Otherwise I will leave it as it is. Many thanks for making it this far now please hit that little button and tell me what you think good, bad or indifferent. See you soon **Morgana-Alex**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1.

**A/N:** Very big thank-yous to all who read chapter 1 and even bigger thank-yous to **althesame, fan-rei, WickedColdfire05, ThEqUeEnOfSlAsH, Read300300, abtotallyrules, Lady Helen, bogus7, MMHGfan, Jellicos, Deb T, IMRU, Kathryn Isabella** who reviewed as well. You comments inspire me as always.

This story is still dedicated to my one and only Bella, without her it would not exist; thank-you for being you my darling. big hugs and kisses. **MA **

Ok so on with the chapter notes this chapter deals with what happened next in the sequence of events, in chapter 1 they declared their feelings and in this chapter they take the next step. Please be reminded that it is not a big step but it is a significant one and I needed to move the story on. I hope you enjoy the read and please review even if it is just to say you've read it. **Morgana-Alex**

**Wanting what I should not want**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 2**

Last night had been about declarations, Hermione hers and me mine.

However they were just words and this morning I was ecstatically happy and exceptionally nervous at the same time

I had declared my love for my student and in so doing I had broken every rule regarding the conduct of a professor when dealing with a student. Yet I could not bring myself to worry about what was right and what was wrong in the eyes of anyone save Hermione.

'Where do we go from here?' She had asked when I had finally stopped talking. Did she truly believe that I had all the answers?

I told her that where we went from here was her choice. In a sense I had placed my fate in the hands of an 18-year-old girl; only now does that seem rash and foolish.

Her answer had been that she would like me to kiss her. I willing gave in to her, - I would never learn to say no to her - yet stopped before things went too far, neither of us was quite that ready; besides it was far too early in what would become the only relationship I care to remember in my life.

I walked my soon to be lover back to her room that night, we walked in silence as if a single spoken word would break the spell.

After saying her password and opening the door Hermione turned to look at me.

'Thursday 8pm, your chambers, desert.' She sensed my confusion and added;

'You did after all leave things in my hands.' A warm smile and she was gone, leaving me to ponder the night's events. I could not deny that I was elated, but did that mean that I'd follow through on all I had said to her?

* * *

I remember that Thursday arrived in the blink of an eye and once again I could not face dinner with the rest of the school, I couldn't be mere feet from her and not be able to reach out to or at the very least study her. 

I dined in my rooms on a supper that wouldn't keep a house elf alive, let alone a grown witch but again food was not on my mind.

I followed the same pattern as I had the night of our declarations and I sat on my windowsill watching the night draw in.

Once again her knock came at 8pm the moment the school clock had stopped chiming and instead of being my calm and collected self I was a bundle of nerves as I opened the door to welcome her.

A vision in a dress of green greeted me, her hair piled on her head and cascading down the back of her neck. It took everything I had to stop myself from throwing myself at her in that split second. Instead I backed up against the wall and bid her enter.

"Minerva your jaw is on the floor. But thank-you for the compliment I knew you would like this dress." The smile on Hermione's face was mischievous at best devilish at worst and yet it delighted me.

"My apologies, my dear. You are quite correct that dress is most becoming on you." Smiling again Hermione clicked her fingers and Dobby appeared.

"Hello Professor McGonagall, Miss Hermione, Miss here is cakes yous is wanting." After setting the tray on the table the house elf asked.

"Can Dobby get yous anythings elses miss?"

"No; thank-you Dobby you have out done yourself with this spread." Hermione answered again, I was still unable to speak; the house elf disappeared with a click of his fingers.

I remember thinking that half the things on the tray were rich and far too filling to eat together; - I would learn on a future night not unlike this one - that they were all there as my guest was unsure of my taste and that sentence is meant to have a certain level of ambiguity to it.

Though not too much ambiguity on that night I did not feel that we were quite ready for that step just yet.

I had been caught staring again at the food and at Hermione, I had turned in to the giddy schoolgirl I had never been as I watched her organise the food she had ordered.

"Now Minerva what would you like to taste first?" Every word seduction itself, every syllable drawing me closer

* * *

The rest of the dessert passed in a haze of delightful sensations each more exciting that the last. I can remember only the feeling of joy at being able to spend time, getting to know this wonderful young woman as my paramour. 

I know that when the clock struck midnight we were taken by surprise, it seemed as if 4 hours had passed in seconds.

"I think it is time I walked you back to your rooms Miss Granger." The pout on her face made me laugh as I gathered her to me for one last kiss.

"Now lead the way my dear." We chatted as we walked this time the kind of talk used to fill a silence that is just a little too uncomfortable and believe me when I say that the tension was palpable.

We said goodnight at her door, a simple kiss in haste just in case we were being observed.

* * *

I was once again the giddy schoolgirl as I made my way back to my rooms when I literally walked in to Albus Dumbledore. 

"Minerva?" He was obviously surprised that I had been daydreaming.

"Albus I am sorry, I did not see you." He smiled at me and for a moment I wanted to tell him everything yet when his eyes clouded over I knew he could see right through me.

"Is there something you wish to tell me Professor?" Albus using my title when we are alone has always been a bad sign; it means he is either angry with or disappointed in me.

"Headmaster if you can ask the question then you already know the answer." I was in no mood for games, but I wasn't entirely sure why I felt the need to be defensive around my old friend, surely he of all people would understand?

* * *

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** Ok there we have the end of chapter 2 I needed to put this bit in to make the rest of the story work and yes there is quite a bit more of it. The next chapter will deal with Albus and why he is not as happy as Minerva would like him to be as well as these wonderful ladies getting to know each other better and maybe taking the next step in their budding relationship. Thank-you for reading and if you have the time please leave me a few words in a review. See you soon. **Morgana-Alex**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** First I would like to say many thank-yous to everyone who has read this story and even bigger thank-you to **Kathryn Isabella, IMRU, allthesame, fan-rei, Leta McGotor, Maeg, RainbowGirl 09, RavenSabel, Jellicos **who reviewed as well.

A couple of points to clear up, **No.1** yes Minerva is remembering here, these are her haphazard memories of a time in the past. **No.2** to Jellicos, you are very right about my writing of emotions in the story, I am not too good at that, I promise to try and I hope I succeed **MA**

As always this is dedicated to my fair maiden Bella, without you my darling there would be no story. I thank-you for being my muse and for loving me and my writing. xxxx

Ok this chapter deals mostly with Albus and Minerva's conversation after the last event in the previous chapter, and with the next step that Hermoine and Minerva take.  
I also ask you to keep in mind that this fic is very non-cannon AU or whatever else you want to call it.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter and I ask, no make that beg you to review when you get to the end. Lots of love **Morgana-Alex **

* * *

**Wanting what I should not want **

**By Morgana-Alex **

**Chapter 3**

Albus had taken me to his office; if I am honest with myself the turn of events was not as surprising as I first thought. After all turn about is fair play.

"Take a seat Minerva." We were seated at his desk; another bad sign friends did not need a desk between them to talk.

I kept silent he would speak when he wanted to and not before

"Minerva have you lost your mind? A student!" I could see that this could take a while and so I settled in for the long haul, I had a feeling I knew what was coming next.

"Minerva I can read that mind of yours you know; well at least the thoughts on the surface and the ones you are projecting." A smile of not quite the right sort graced his lips then.

"Neither of you are my type and you know it. I am referring to the fact that forming a romantic relationship with a student is wrong, Miss Granger may be of age but what right do you have to rob her of her innocence? She looks up to you, it is even fair to say that she worships the ground you walk on, she is young and easily confused, her feelings of admiration could easily be mistaken for those of love and affection and she would not know the difference.

"Minerva your actions could ruin your career and they could prevent Hermoine from having the kind of future she deserves." I was trying very hard not to smile at this point, so I gave in, smiled and told him why.

"I remember that speech Albus, I uttered it almost word for word in this room 20 years ago when your relationship with Severus first came to my attention. I am willing to admit that I was wrong then and I know that you are wrong now.

"Why should what is beginning between Hermoine and myself, be any different from what you had with Severus then and what you have with him now?" He paused; he didn't have a leg to stand on of course, as he had enjoyed a romantic relationship with Severus since the potions master had turned 17; this year would be their 20th anniversary.

He moved to sit on the desk directly before me and for a moment his eyes held an emotion I did not want to identify, sadness perhaps or maybe he just knew something I didn't. I let it pass.

"Touché my dear. Of course I have no right to lecture you on this subject but I can tell you that to continue with this relationship is a mistake, no good will come of it." I made to speak but he held a hand up andbade me silent.

"I know my dear I know that my words will not stop you from following the voice of your heart and so in that I wish you well, but should I see any evidence of your relationship in my capacity as headmaster I shall be forced to investigate it." I understood him well enough to know that he was scared for me in a time as troubled as ours was, and so again I let it pass.

* * *

But I want to tell you more of the wonderful beginning of our relationship; this account is after all my recollections of a very happy time.

* * *

We had at my insistence taken things slowly, I did not want to rush my fair maiden and truth be told Albus's words resounded in my head more than I would ever admit. 

We had been getting to know each other for over 3 months when Hermoine refused to let me leave her at the end of a delightful evening, and I could not resist something I had wanted since the first time I had kissed her.

"Don't go Minerva I cannot bear for you to leave me tonight, I had promised myself that I would wait until you asked me, but it is getting harder and harder to let you go each night." She was standing before me her eyes a picture of desire and hope and as her hand came up to caress my cheek I knew that whether I thought the time was right or not, there was no way I would walk out on my wonderful girl now.

That night was slow and sensuous, pleasures sought and attained, desire sated in the most delightful manor possible. I was a most willing teacher and student that night, for Hermoine taught me a few things I had never before experienced and vice versa.

I left just before dawn kissing my young lover once more before stealing away in the darkest moment of the day.

* * *

We carried on like that for the rest of Hermoine's final year at Hogwarts, even during her NEWT's when I had asked her to study she would not stay away for long, and in truth I was not about to complain about my lover being attentive now was I. 

However times were about to change…

**End Chapter**

* * *

**A/N:** The next chapter will be a bit of a dark one it will deal with Hermoine's departure from Hogwarts and how that affects the relationship between the 2 women.  
Many thanks for getting this far now please hit that little button and leave me a review. See you soon. **Morgana-Alex **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1

**A/N:** I want to say a big thank-you to **allthesame, Jellicos, freaky-Minnie, Midnight-Silk**, who read and reviewed you guys are wonderful.

This chapter is about the last night Minerva and Hermoine have together as professor and student, as well as a little of their plans for the future. It is by far not the last chapter. **MA**

As always this story is dedicated to my one and only, My Bella. I love you my darling with all my heart. xxx

****

Wanting what I should not want

By Morgana-Alex

Chapter 4

The graduation ball had come and gone, the students had enjoyed themselves immensely that night, while I had sat in the corner observing from the side lines as my love played her part in the celebrations.

That night I realised that I would lose Hermoine, maybe not completely and maybe not forever, yet I knew right there and then that things would never be the same between us again.

As the ball came to a close and the head boy and girl undertook their last duties in those rolls, I left the great hall and retired to my chambers, the other professors could handle getting the students back to their common rooms and dormitories.

I needed a drink as the door closed behind me and doubt crept in to my mind, in truth I had dreaded this day since I had laid eyes upon Hermoine Granger, at first I had dreaded that a wonderful intelligent student would be killed in a battle that was not hers to fight, and then I worried that I would lose someone who meant more to me that my own life.

Fire whiskey would help my nerves and stop me dwelling on things I could not change; I had just poured my third glass when my portrait opened to reveal the vision that is Hermoine Granger.

"I knew you'd be here, however I did not expect you to be getting drunk while waiting for me." Her tone while not unkind held the slightest malice or maybe it was just disappointment, was it in that moment that she realised just whom she had tied herself to?

"This is my third glass my dear and as you well know it would take a lot more than that to get me even tipsy, so we will drop that subject if you don't mind." Both of us were frightened of what the morning would bring and I realise now that that was why the air was crackling with barely concealed hostility that night.

"Of course, but I don't want you drinking because of me Minerva, I never want to give you cause to drink to forget or dull pain." Her voice softened as she walked up to me and placed her arms about my waist.

"Now what do you say about making my last night as your student a night to remember?" Her smile wicked in the way only she could manage, her hands already playing with the zip of my dress, I melted of course.

"I think that could be arranged Miss Granger, now what would you like to learn tonight?" My tone and my manner was playful I wanted to be as close to her as was possible, just in case this was the last time I held her in my arms.

"I think tonight is for the student to show the teacher just how much she has learned under her tutelage." My lover took my hands and led me to the bedroom.

* * *

I awoke a few hours before dawn to find myself the only occupant of my bed, the pillow beside me was cold, it was obvious that Hermoine had not slept as I had. Tears began to rise in my eyes as I turned over to face the window and discovered that my lover had not left me alone, just that she had been sitting watching the night from the window ledge. 

"Hermoine?" I called as my tears retreated.

"Oh Minerva I didn't mean to wake you." She stood then and walked back to the bed I lifted the covers and drew her to me as she lay back down beside me.

"Couldn't you sleep my dear?" I asked

"No, for some reason the fact that I must leave Hogwarts tomorrow is playing on my mind. I do not want to leave you my Minerva." Tears had stained her cheeks and I wish I had woken earlier to comfort her.

"We knew this day would come my love and while I do not want to see you go, I cannot except you to stay here just because of me. You need to follow your path, experience life away from the confines of this school." My tears reappeared.

"But Minerva I shall be so far away from you, I would only be able to visit you at the weekends when I could apparat up to Hogsmead." I held her face to my chest then, I didn't want her to see my expression, how could I let her do that? Let her give up a normal life for me – her aging professor.

"Hermoine would you really do that for me? Every weekend travel hundreds of miles for a few hours when your study will take up most of your time. I remember what university was like my dear; I never had time for anything but study." It was her turn to cry then, her turn to realise that I was not trying to push her away but to let her know that I knew what could happen to us when she left Hogwarts.

"We have to try Minerva, I don't want to leave you and at the same time I want to continue my education." I looked in to my fair maidens eyes and said.

"The we will try my dear, we will give it our best shot with no regrets and you will not be the only one to travel at weekends; and on the holidays I shall take you to my manor, my home I cannot wait to show you the house in the winter with the snow and a roaring log fire." We both stopped any thoughts of further tears then and held each other close, we made love once more and just before the sun came up my love left my chambers so she could be found in her own bed.

**End Chapter**

**A/N:** Thank-you for reading, if you have the time please spare a minute to leave a review, I beg you. The next chapter will contain a little more sorrow for the couple but it will not last, I can't say anymore without giving everything away. See you soon Lots of Love **Morgana-Alex**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Please see chapter 1 

**A/N:** Many thank-yous to all who reviewed chapter 4, if it wasn't for you I would not have bothered to write this remaining chapter.

At last the final chapter of this story, I hope it was worth the wait. Enjoy and if you will, review. **Morgana-Alex**

**This chapter has not been beta-ed; therefore it is not up to my usual standard.**

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**Wanting what I should not Want**

**By Morgana-Alex**

**Chapter 5**

…And try we did, for almost 2 years, week in week out we travelled to be with each other. Oxford, Hogwarts and McGonagall Manor were our ports of call, bewitched luggage and discretion became our constant companions and as each weekend passed we grew closer and closer.

It is in no small thanks to the superb intellect and studious nature of my love that we were only separated for 2 years; Hermoine passed all her exams a year ahead of her class mates, and received numerous job offers from all over the wizarding world.

This is where our true struggle began; and the day I remember most was 3 days after her university graduation; we were in my sitting room at Hogwarts;

"Hermoine, Hermoine." I called to my lover, who was daydreaming by the fireplace.

"I'm sorry Minerva, my mind was elsewhere." I almost told her then that her statement was redundant as she had stated the obvious, but of course I did not.

"My dear there are 3 more owls at the window who refuse to deliver their missives to anyone but you." Hermoine walked absentmindedly to the window to receive the Owls and I realised in that moment that I was going to have to let my love go, if I was ever to be in with a chance of her being by my side for the rest of my life.

The muggles have a saying 'if you love something set if free, if it comes back it is yours forever, if it doesn't then it was never meant to be.' It was a chance I had to take let her live her life as she needed or watch and wait for her to turn to me with bitterness, resentment and regret.

The next 2 days pass in a blur of owls and parchment, we had barely spoken a handful of words to each other in those 48 hours and while my lover slept beside me I had never felt so lonely. Her mind was not on me nor was it on our love and her dreams were not of our future together.

After a fitful sleep I awoke at 4am and left my sleeping beauty to wake much later, alone.

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I sat in my office contemplating the actions I knew I must take; my sanity depended on the fact that I knew that what I was doing was right. But knowing it didn't make the task any easier.

A knock at my office door brought my mind in to focus and I bid my visitor – whom I knew to be my lover – enter.

"Good morning Hermoine." I said almost formally as she came in to the room and sat opposite me on the other side of my desk.

"Good morning Minerva." She replied cautiously.

"Now my dear tell me have you decided which job offer to accept yet?" My tone I hoped was neutral or at the very least portrayed real interest. I had no real desire to hear her tell me that she wanted a job that would take her away from me for a long period of time.

Her face lit up and then clouded over again, she was both ecstatic and afraid.

"Yes I have Minerva, I have chosen the job that I always wanted to have when I finished my studies, a job that will both stretch me and teach me, a job that will make sure I never stagnate, a job that will allow me to research and write all the papers I know I will publish." Hermione looked so happy, she had just recounted her perfect job speech to me and I felt miserable knowing that she was going to leave me to take up her dream job.

"When do you start?" I couldn't ask anything else, I didn't want to ask the question burning in my mind – when are you leaving me? – Yet I knew the answer to both questions was the same.

Another smile displayed with grace this job meant the world to my love, I could tell and I felt dreadful for wanting her to pass it up and stay with me.

"September 1st is when I take up my new position, do not worry my Minerva, my packing is done, I have shopped for my uniform and have prepared myself for my first day. I only hope that you can forgive me my choice." Every word said with elation, I had never been good at denying her and with this I would be no different; no matter how much my heart was breaking.

"I could forgive you anything my darling." Even as I said the words I doubted ever being able to get over the pain.

"Aren't you going to ask what job I decided on and where it is I will be working?" Her smile gone to be replaced by a look of fear, I could relate to that look.

"Of course my dear, tell me all." Again I didn't want to hear one word of what she had to say; after all I was convinced it would not be good news.

"I am going to take up a post that has been vacant for a number of years now but in these troubled times has never been more relevant, I hope to be able to make a real difference maybe ever save a few lives but even if I save just one it will be worth it. From September 1st my title will be Professor of muggle studies Hogwarts." I had to shake my head had I really heard her tell me she was staying at Hogwarts?

"I'm sorry Hermione could you please repeat that last bit." Could I have been dreaming, wishful thinking?

"Minerva I said that I will be the new professor of muggle studies here at Hogwarts." It still took a few seconds to register what I had heard; I had spent days in unfounded fear and now she tells me that it was for nothing, I had never felt as relieved.

I moved to stand on now unsteady legs my heart jumping for joy, my breath quick, and my smile reaching my hairline. Hermione looked at me in confusion, I must have seemed more than a little crazy, one minute my world was at an end the next my life restored; had I been in her place I would have called for Madame Pomfrey.

"Minerva please say something." I didn't feel like talking and conveyed this feeling with a kiss, as I wrapped my arms around my love I knew that no matter what we were always going to be together.

**The End**

**JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ**

**A/N:** This story is at its end, a chapter of life explained. It is not as I originally planned, this story was supposed to be as least double its current length, however. I could not find the words to string it out. I am sorry for the long wait but it was unavoidable if I wanted this chapter to be worth reading, I hope I have succeeded in that task.

For those of you awaiting the next chapter to 'the end of the affair or how a friendship begins' I will post it when I am happy with it – which unfortunately might take awhile though I do intend to finish that fic. Keep reading and writing everyone. **Morgana-Alex**


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